Know that you are worthy/ Success

Know that you are worthy of being loved well. Know that you are worthy of a person choosing you to love and to assist in your growth. Know that you are worthy of that person and all that they are for you. Know that you will freely give that love back, and that love you give freely is what makes you so very beautiful, alluring, someone others desire to know.

Know that you are worthy and that financial and emotional struggle is not a part of God's plan for you. Growth and learning is a part of God's plans for you, not struggle. You decide to struggle. Know that God has plans for your life so planning and challenging yourself to do better is a good thing, having goals is a good thing. Do not struggle so against changes when they come, sometimes God has a bigger purpose and is putting you on HIS track.

Know that you are worthy of every gift God has given, every smile that you get each day, every uplifiting voice that you hear. Know that you are worthy.

Know your worth and your worthiness. Do not let another convince you to give it away or that you are worth nothing. Surround yourself with others who plan to reach their goals through work, dedication and drive, not through cutting down the hopes, dreams and aspirations of others. Life is not a competition. Only you can do what God means for you to do in the way He needs you to do it.

Don't believe the hype that unless you are making and have such and such you have not succeeded. Leave those outward lies of success with those who know no better. A successful life is the one with little stress, enjoyment of fam and work, a desire to do God's work and to do so selflessly. It is not stressing about bills because you live below your means. It means living fully and enjoying each day lifting up others, and enjoying the world we live in by visiting and experiencing, being open to others experiences and opinions while maintaining your own. Loving another, that is success. It is not a Jag, or the latest gadget. It is having a life you love, with some extras along the way and relationships with people you love as well as being secure as possible with your financial standing. No stress. Much Peace. This is the recipe for a successful life to me.

Kita

Gotta Get that Black Vote - Republicans

Allright. Look a here Republicans, for too long you have not given a damn about those who needed help or assistance unless it benefited you. For the entire length of this current "administration" the Exec. in charge has ignored us, ignored others, and pretended that the poor, working class and middle class do not have eyes to see and cannot notice, that as he said in the Micheal Moore classic "that rich people are his kind of people" and that is a true statement. Please, I am sincerely curious, why should I believe his - or for that matter your drivel now? Why pay attention to me now? Did somebody in his administration sit down and read the book "Covenant with Black America"? Thanks Tavis Smiley. Did someone put him on to the fact that African Americans are beginning to see how can they change and benefit their own communities and make them stronger and better and are currently pissed off about how our schools are set up, neighborhoods are, party lines are drawn? Entertainment is great, but after Katrina and a few crazy things happening in our own communities we got our eyes open a bit now. Shout out and thanks to Bill Cosby. I do not agree with everything he says but his statements put the media and the politicians on notice that we are getting ready to start a movement. Heads up black leaders, it is about to begin again.

When African Americans and other groups start grumbling because they know and feel that they have been taken for granted or advantage of and start calling for change, I gotta remember to start looking out for the vultures and liars called politicians. They come to our churches because our churches are a part of our tradition, our heritage, and there is where the push for change and improvement really starts. They know this. My heritage will NOT be used against me this time. Try. Something. Else. Maybe. The. Truth. And. Some. Honest. Compassion. And. Results. Do. That. For. Me. B**ch. Ante up or move the heck on or I am gonna kick you outta that White House. And outta Congress. Holla if you hear me. *crickets* Please note everyone, they did not holler cause they did not listen, or they do not respect me and mine. We have decided to flex our political muscles again. Are you listening now? 2007 being right around the bend has made the 'Publicans a little more willing to hear me. Good. A bit to little to late, you should have been more willing to listen to me because you WORK FOR ME TOO JERK. I don't care about the fringe benefits that come with their job, power is too seductive to expect them to never abuse it, just as long as it does not abuse and hurt the public at large. Note, I said at large, not the top 5-15% of the people who have the majority wealth in this country. People who make minimum wage and up to $80 K a year , we matter too.

The Prez. The top of your party. Got a little something to say to him, and here we go:

Either way, we gone have issues padre, until you learn to do something more than be concerned about lining your pockets and those of your friends. We are gonna have issues until you cease being so arrogant that you feel you are above the law and do not have to respect the check and balance system that is the core of what this country is based on so that no area of government can have more power than the other, well YOU. GOTTA. GO. You do not respect and get what the rules are with your job and you have rules. This is not ENRON. You have rules and your job is to enforce the laws of the land. That is it . You do not get to sign into legislation parts of the legislative bodies laws that they present to you in the way that you see fit. You enforce, they create. You are not above the Supreme Court. If they say that something can or cannot be done based upon the law you are bound to support that and do so. Figure out your role and play it. You already have messed up so severly that when I see you I see images of Nixon dancing in my head as well. Get a clue. You should have been impeached 2 times over, but the Republican Congress did not do its job. We will get this straight too. Trust. A change is about to come. Beleive that. Lets not get started on the war debacle and the subsequent lies and treason by the folks in your office. Trying to joke off the fact that you did not show up to speak with the NAACP until your term was in the last 20 minutes of your party to say hello to us did not help either. Oh crap, only one year to go to ensure we get some black votes. If the black folks and other disgruntled poor/ working/ middle class folks boot/vote us out of our positons boy is the 'Publican party gone be pissed at me, time to say hey. They will appreciate that, surely. Umm. Not. It shows us that you know that this is what you are doing to win votes. No sell here. Tell me some facts and what you plan to do, keep your jokes. I do not care about your jokes. Flush your jokes. Tell me some facts and your honest plans to improve the situation you have cause internationally, financially etc. Do that. 'K? Get back to me when you are ready. Go on back to your corner and think about that. Go on now!

Even African Americans who are members of this party admit that the 'Publican party needs a lot of work and at present is crappy. They say that (Republicans) do not really understand others plights of minorites or respect our opinions much. Really? I could not tell. Sarcasm folks. Maybe because the majority in the 'Publican party , along with the president, think that rich folks are their kind of folks. Historically, you know that slavery, Jim Crow thing, well it kinda did away with the money from way back when idea. I am still recouping about that. A lot of minorities are recouping, and let us not forget the poor white folks who never had deep pockets in the first place. They wonder what in the heck is really going on with you guys and your philosophies as well. Also, I am going to, because of that history, be down for folks who are suffering and need help. Get that too, why don't you? I'll get back to you when I see you listening and making efforts to fix the mess you KEEP creating. Wait for me. I will be walking away now, 'k? * crickets*

That is why the Democrats hold our (minority groups) interest. If they (Dems) would get some cojones and take a stand a serious stand to close the gap between the rich and poor, take a stand a serious stand about social issues and other things of serious concern, they would not have a serious contender at all. If they would come up with a plan to put us back economically in the scheme of things and let the rest of the world come to terms with their issues, and how some of the crap that is going on in their countries is because they have made bad decisions in leadership as well, we could all move forward. Also Legislative folk, try using basic common sense. Welfare for instance. Try this: Give folks 3 years to do an associate program, 2 years to do a certificate program (part-time, they still gotta take care of those kids!) Give them 3.5 years cutting down their assitance as they go along. Why 3.5 years, dummy it takes a year to find a decent job in this country. Look at what jobs are available for the every day folks. Get a clue. After 2.5 years in a position they should be beyond entry level and be able to create a lucrative life for themselves. Because the economy, technology and jobs are changing leave them with 10 years to get assistance. Crap does happen. Stop thinking that making $13,500 before taxes is honestly the poverty level. That is called the starving, reason to steal and do other illegal activites to survive, or working homeless level. Get. Some. Common. Doggone. Sense.

In additon theRepublican parties lack of a backbone to stand up to the president and hold their ground until he really gets that he too has gotta play by the rules and remembers that he works for the benefit of all of the people of the US . They were suppose to hold it down in Congress until the prez got some sense and remembered his role but they failed us, that really bugged me. No Back Bone Republicans! You work for me remember? That is your job, to see about the welfare of your constituents and offer legislation and programs and supply different departments to make sure that I am covered. It is your doggone job, you agreed to it, toe the line. If not, please trust that I and others will be Voting. You. Out. of. Office. By the by, if you can let him do this illegal impeachable offense kind of stuff in your face, in our face, what did you allow him to get away with behind your backs? Huh? Too embarrased to answer huh? I would be too.

Frankly, I pick the less of two evils. That is how I always vote. I vote for who stands for what I need and want and what my community needs and wants. Get with that, or get out of my face. I could care less about who you are or what kind of money you got. If you are a dem or 'publican, black, white, asian, latino. does not matter either. Do your job, toe the line , or get the heck out of office. I pray that this time all people do the same. If they do not toe the line, vote them out. If they think that our lives are jokes, something to play with, nothing to respect. Vote. Them. Out. Let's turn the paradigm this time. Let's remind them who they work for, Dem., Republican, Liberal, Conservative - if they do not do their jobs, if they do not stand up for your beliefs put in someone new. Let's try them. This same old crap of keeping the old thing cause we know how it will screw us is tired. It is time to move forward now.

Yeah black folks and other minorities and other groups (Latinos) are remembering that they have muscles to Flex. Poor folks, when they remember that the vote is power will tool To All Politicians heads up: You will learn to respect our gangsta or be out on your ass jobless like too many of us. Deal with it when it happens. Crap or get off of the pot.

Living Free - Work/ Career

I want my life to be one of purpose, and filled with cultural experiences. I want to help those that are in need, I want to be one of those folks who get up every day with a purpose. I want to be one of those people. I do not want my life to be about just laying around taking care of me and if it is not about me then t' heck with it. I do not want that.

I keep thinking about living freely. What does that mean to me. Does it mean living without any strings, just vacationing, going on trips? Does living freely mean not concerning yourself with other people? Does it mean shopping and gathering up more stuff? Does living freely mean just simply enjoying life period? The definition for me is a combo.

Living freely to me means not being concerned about how the bills are going to get paid or helping out someone else if they are in need. It also means being able to get myself things that I want on the regular. It means that my time is not eaten up by work hours but are balanced. It means having a healthy relationship with myself and others. But back to the career side of the deal. There are numerous ways to get to this point. Numerous paths available. Working long and hard hours for a business. Working a 9-5 position with much clout but lil' work. Starting your own business and working hard at that. Assisting others with their business. In the end it is all about how to make the mula. The real question comes with the how to make the money. The focus, because all of us are so very multi talented, again, where and how?

I always beleived that your life should be about things you actually care about. So I began my trek to become a paralegal. Focused. I can assist folks on a lot of levels with that Associates degree. But my desire to be around art has also caught my attention. How will I make it there? Art. Culture. Could that too become a part of my career? Hmm. Entertainment Law. No. Perhaps at some place like Care or a museum etc. Maybe. So those types of intergrations can happen. My mind also began to say and even with that the art must make a difference, must expose other folks to the world, and not just the wealthy. They have enough advantages. I am interested in getting to that ideal. I want that. I WILL get it.

To me living and doing what you love, what you like, even doing some of the duties you don't care for but heck it comes with the job (filing, typing, copying etc.) that is being free at work. If I can assist somebody else and make a difference, that is what I want to do.

I want to sing too, and I want to write. Those things I can do as well and do well thanks. My art may not be available for the general public, but I need art in my life like I need solitude and God. I need to have that beauty that comes with art, that creativity in my life.

My friend longs for a life where she can do what she wants when she wants. That is a good thing for her. I can see her being happy doing the traveling and calling all her own shots. Yes, she would help others along the way, but in a different way from what I want/need to do. Actually, she is the reason that I began looking at what did I need to become free. I can see myself doing that which she is beginning to get into, to have additional cash, yes. Is it the life for me, no. I can see myself opening up a place for children, women, men to enjoy art ~ books, music, good food.

Honestly, my heart and life and pulse beats and moves with the people. I like people, with all their crazy and different ways of looking at life. Heck, I am an empath, I cannot help it. That is why playing superwoman and protecting myself in relationships, gaining weight etc. made my life easier cause it made some folks decide not to deal with me in the first place. Good, I can see you are walking breathing trouble. I got enough on my plate. Holla back. I am always reaching out to help someone I really should slap instead. *sigh* Unfortunately the good jobs available to folks who like to do this type of stuff are usually very hard to locate. I know God will help me though with this quest. I will be fine. Just gotta map out my plan.

Anyhoo, I am glad to know what that living free thing is for me. Gonna get free in some more ways very, very soon. I will be going natural again. Beginning to think of different ways to pay my bills and finish school going full time. I want a bachelors in ..... can't call it yet, just know it has to do with folks. International relations, public relations etc. I feel it in the air ya'll. Another change is about to come. Oh well. Rock on.

Kita

taking a min. to be Thankful for what is truly important

I am taking a minute to remember what is important to me. I mean IMPORTANT to me. I sometimes get so caught up in money and its facade of success that I need to check myself. So I am taking this moment to remember what is truly important to me.

God is important to me. Look. On the real. Most of the time I am confused and do not know what the sam hill I am doing. I do not know where I am going. I hear a voice that says keep on walking keep on moving and trust me. That is why I do what I do, that is why I am who I am. I trust and love God. God is important to me. When nobody else understood me, listened to me, consoled me, told me to hold on and to keep my head up, God did. When no one else came around to love me, I knew I was loved in the midst of it all. When I was right, wrong or indifferent, God showed up. When I came to this planet, He blessed me and gave me breath and life and thoughts and personality and the willlingness to learn and to become humble and to grown and to seek and to love. I know that God is important to me. He is.

I am important to me. It is imporant that I live and fulfill my purpose. It is essential that I keep reaching and take care of my body, take care of my soul, express myself, and love me. It is essential that I dare to be myself and respect myself and forgive myself. I have a purpose and a reason and it is essential that I share my love, concern, hope, wisdom and dreams to those that I can, heck to the world. I am important to me. I am important to God. I will take care of me and all that that means.

My familia is important to me. They look out for me. They love me, though they do not always understand me. They remind me of where I am from and where I can go, what I can do and what I can be. They lift me up when the world tries to crush me, and will defend me to the bitter end, they will stand by me until they can stand no more. My family loves me, and I love them. They are important to me.

My friends are important to me. Some are crazy, some are nuts, some are sweet and some will try to ride my butt, but they love me. They care. They stand up to me and put up a mirror so that I can see myself, both the good and the bad. They are my extended family. They lift me up and tell me to go ahead and touch the sky. I love them. They are important to me.

My community is important to me. It is important that in large part I feel safe. It is important that my neighbors look out for me and my home. It is wonderful that there is a mutual feeling of respect that we share in our community. I enjoy my neighbors, and they too have become my family. They are important to me.

Not once did anything that I note as important to me have anything to do with money. Yes, I am blessed to have a house, I am blessed to have a job, I am blessed to have a car, I am blessed over and abundantly with things . Yes, I am. I am thankful for all of it. However, I am thankful for the relationships that I have with people too. Thank you God. You blessed me with these people and things. I will continue to appreciate them.

You pour favor and blessings upon me. I am/will be forever grateful. Amen.

Progressive Christianity?

I am not one of those folks who get up early and go to church. Not now. I have done so, and though I have issues with church and church folks, I do understand that there is great value in the church as well. I recently read about Progressive Christianity. Their doctrine and purpose confuses me.

I am by no means a biblical scholar. I am aware that the church gets some so stirred up that they cannot look at another person who believes what they believe for whatever reason and respect that person and their religion. That is because most people only read the bible when the pastor, good reverend etc tells them to. They have not read and studied Timothy's or Paul's letters to the church. It would instruct them in how they deal with people of different faiths and how come it is imperative that you are a shining example of how to act with people, not how to demean, shoot down or hurt folks when they do not believe in the same fashion that you believe. Other's belief system are steeped in tradition and are familial just like ours. To bum rush someone and claim that their traditions are from the devil is just, wrong. As we do not like crucification from people about our ideas and beliefs, others do not like it when we do it either. Put yourself in their shoes, and if you want a person to consider you and Christ be a good representative of what He is. I have started people on their journey of what Christian's believe and I tell ya, it was not because I told them that I do not believe in Hinduism, Buddhism etc. It is because when they asked I told them about my beliefs, I apologized when I was wrong..... I tried daily to be a good representative of Christ and when I fell short, I apologized.

When I read the information on Progressive Christianity I was appalled. I believe in Christ. Nothing that they said about folks who do not regularly come to church applied to me. Well correction, I think the church attempts to control thought processes so much that it makes the Gospel irrelevant to what is going on today. You are not to question, you are not to say why, you are to agree blindly. No, only fools walk behind others like sheep to slaughter. I was instructed to ask, to inquire and to look for the fruit that surrounds a person who wishes to direct me. Some people think that material things are the only show of fruit, I say that the fruit is also represented in how a person is, how they act and how humble they are as they inform you honestly how they have been changed. That is fruit. People walk away because the church, though it is to be open to any kind of volunteering as long as it uplifts God and is done in His name, it is His will being done, that type of volunteering and giving of self if pooh-poohed if it is not done in the church. A lot of folks walk away because people who are "churched' often forget that they had/have a log in their eye. They walk around attempting to convict and condemn you. People beat up on themselves enough. Don't need your help but thanks. Try whispering the issue instead of getting tired of the person being slow. By your behavior you sometimes show folks how truly"slow" you are. People avoid church because folks try to pretend as though real change does not take work. It does. You gotta face that thing and forgive yourself and others. What in the heck is work ? If that does not consitute work I do not know what does.

People leave church because unfortunately church often cuts people off. Yeah, it is not a perfect place, but truth is, too often it is not a welcoming place either. Everything that happens in the world occurs in church, so I come in here to be condemned and convicted and to still sit amongst this mess? No, I will not. Church sometimes ask too much. Yes, some people are really struggling, they really are. Let them volunteer. Stop telling folks that if they do not give money God will not help, hear or heed them. That is a lie. Stop trying to convince folks that if they are not perfect God will punish them or will not fully help them. I have heard versions of this bull for all the time I have gone to church. Too much of this is man judging man. Too much of this is not from the Word. Too much of this is not about building God a kingdom. God's church is made of people and not a building, not a gym, not a child care center. It is made up of people. Too often churches - the leaders - forget this. Church is holy. It is beautiful. It is where God resides. He also resides in the heart and actions of everyone on the earth who allows Him in and manifest in our actions our prayer, praise etc. Jehovah is here with me now.

People stop coming cause church too often becomes a grandstand for man. Period. People are expecting an everlasting, loving, caring God, and people who want the same and too often the church and its leaders forget that the first law is to love each other. Love. That is what people come to the church for, to God for. LOVE. Not money, prosperity or a bigger building, LOVE.

When church begins remembering its purpose and lives and grows with the people, oh what a change will come and what a time.

Created to Love -Advocate - Speak my poetry

You know, I really am getting with this idea. I am created to love.

The past is the past for a reason. Your relationship with people are blessings and when it is over walk away. You loved them, they loved you, it is simply time to accept the lessons and move forward.

My life is becoming a life I like. It is not always comfortable nor am I always sure of what I am doing, but I walk to the gentle whispers I hear in my head. God.

It took awhile, but I am working on that anger issue. When I start hearing the word tired come through my head and my soul is agitated, my inner peace is being disturbed and I know something must come to an end and another thing must begin, I start the mourning process for the death and go get libations to celebrate the new birth.

The thing is the past always beckons. It is a sure shot, and it is safe, and even when its mired in pain and horrible things it is known.

I am walking in the unknown now, but there is a sure path ahead of me. Truth be told, I am terrified. I keep trying to dumb down my dream and accept only a part of my destiny, but I can't do that. Ya'll I feel like crying and they are tears of resistance crumbling.

My love for my people and those that need help and assistance is tempered by the fact that some of those folks would if they could pull me down in their acceptace of their situation. it makes me want to be a part of the process of helping those who want to be helped, inspire those who forgot what it feels like to dream, and to those who will not move forward in any way or form, accept that fact and love them anyway. I want to be a part of the process. I want to be a part of the solution. I want to be an advocate. I gotta learn the law and the process and .... I gotta learn and then I HAVE TO DO MY PART. I am becoming a para to learn the law and the system, I will complete my bachelors in political science to work that system and from there where will I go, I do not know. It is scary. I am used to playing in the background but I got a voice in my head that says, come up to the front, come a little higher. I know where that voice comes from. I gotta heed it. I do not know where I will end up, but I do know that I am walking. Every day and more firmly my grip is getting tighter into the WORD, into God.

See, to take a risk for others, to sacrifice your life, your privacy, your time, that is all and act of love ya'll. I was created to love. I was loved unselfishly in this way by a perfect God and imperfect people. I gotta give it back cause I receive it so abundantly.

I start now by loving myself and putting in the hard work. I am gonna perform my poetry, and I am going to get into my career, and I am gonna push for a better life for my people, those that I love. I am gonna speak up for those that do not know that they have a voice, and a reason to be here and live and love like everybody else. I am gonna do my part and let my voice be heard. It is my calling ya'll. More and more I am beginning to understand that. I cannot save everybody, but I can do my part.

I pray for myself and others and all the people that I see doing good works and fighting the good fight. I pray. It is all and honestly the most powerful thing that I can do.

I was created to love. I am created to love, and I will.

Kita

AAAAaaaaaah

Wooo. There has been a lot going on round here.

Let me pour out a lil' licka for the homies (friends) I found it necessary to leave behind and give this sec or two of silence.

*********
Aaiight. For the folks I am still down with, "Wat up fools!"

'K. It has been busy, busy, busy. I got my first CASA case. Cool. Advocate for that child, yes ma'am, you best beleive it.

I am in school, it is a lot of work but I am carrying B averages and the semster is almost over.
Heck yeah.

I joined this all women gym. Going as of tomorrow shawt.

I am joining some groups and going out with different people. Yeah yeah. Uh huh.

Gonna do the poetry thing.

Baby steps. Doing it though.

Most importantly I am loving moi. I am listening to God. I am respecting me.

There will be more to post. Right now, I am sittin' in the path of my sun just waiting for a lil' rain so I can grow. Feel me?

Kita

Later - Out- See Ya!

Ok. I am into making big changes in my life now, gotta get into the business of taking care of me so the mind check thing sign is on CLOSED DOWN FOR SELF LOVE, CARE, REPAIR AND CHANGE. There you go. Moving locale, changing friends, getting a life, not letting fear rule me. It has been great and I love you all, but I gotta go. No regrets, no regrets just time to do what I need to. I will be back. No flak ya'll when I return. I ain't in the mood for nonsense and bull. Neva' none of that.

Took down my strong
black woman sign and put
up one that said Capable,
Loving and lovable,
Trusting, honest and loyal,
I had carried the Anger bag too long
so I began to unload that in the trash to
make room for a sign that said Free
Beautiful, spiritual, strong, sexy and
intelligent, witty, humble, growing ...me
Making room for my joy
I took down all the signs that did not
uplift my spirit
or water my soul .... did not rekindle and awaken
the fire in my heart and I brought several signs
that I needed to fill with words
that describe fully the beauty of being
ME .. with a dab of peace and spice of life that lies within
I look forward to writing the descriptions and
characteristics of who and what I am
This journey is for ME and
I am enjoying the sun, the rain, the wind
Trust, I have covering from all seasons in Him
I am honoring who and what I am
Loving me ya'll. That is what it is all about.
Loving and respecting me.
It is the way that is has got to be.


Kita AKA Queen Deluxe
Free ya'll. Finally free.