Struggling with a bout of Melancholy / Greatful

I just want to write. I need to express myself and then I will quickly do what I am greatful for. Today was a good day, I got frustrated this morning because I woke up late, and I got stuck in traffic etc., but all in all it was a really good day. I enjoyed the c0mpany of my co-worker and I thought about the things that were going on in another person's life. I will pray for them. Then just as soon as I was happy I became a bit melancholoy. Hmmm. I am looking at what happened. Today I was suppose to go and enjoy myself and take care of myself and now that I am to sit and perm my hair, read a book, paint my nails... I feel kinda funny. And now that I bought myself some pants as a gift to me.... I feel melancholy. I want male companionship, and a relationship..... I do want that. I know I am to feel appreciative about what I have, and I do, but I must be honest with myself too. I ate ok today. I really did, and I am proud of how much better I have been eating lately. I got a bonus and a gift from my bosses, and they made me promise I would spend it on me, I just don't know what to buy myself. I am becoming careful with my money..... when it comes to me that is. Hmmm. I will examine this some more when I am at home. I will pray about what just happened and I know the answer and the solution will come too. OK. Enough of that.... i am feeling a lil' better already

I am greatful for my job, God, uplifiting people and family. I am greatful for new friends and growing, improving relationships. I am greatful for moving forward. Lord, thank you for letting me know that there is no competition in my life and that I do not need to feel better than someone else to feel good about myself. I am learning to love me where I am and that is an excellent feeling. I am becoming accustomed to checking myself and having you check me Lord, thank you. I am learning, growing and changing and I am thankful for that. I am greatful for new adventures and new stories. I am so greatful Lord. I knwo the melancholy feeling is .....temporary and thank you for alerting me that it is because I think that folks that show interest in me will respond to my interest back in the way and time I think they should. You just keep letting me know, clearing up confusion, andGod I just want to say, thank you.