Greatful 18

I am greatful that I am returning to school today, greatful that I have a good job, greatful that I am becoming more excited about my career. I am greatful for the new respect and love I am gaining for my person and my body, my new committment to honesty, and holding on with both hands to hope. I am greatful for breath, the movement I have with and in my body. I am greatful for good health, for my future husband and better life. I am greatful for my family, for God, for friends. I am greatful for my new burgeoning acceptance of self and situations. I am greatful that I am no longer searching desperately for friends or support. I am so greatful. I am greatful that God loves me, forgives me, uplifts me and lets me know that unconditionally he loves me. I am so very greatful. I am greatful that I can continue to learn and despite my rebellioiusness and other habits that sometimes delay my progress I am learning and moving forward, moving on towards my goals. I am so Greatful, thank you God!!

hey- If you are out there

It has been a minute, but I am alright. Whooo. Anywho. I have begun the first of the year on a good note. When you know better do better. When you catch yourself doing the wrong thing, correct yourself. Be patient with you, love you. I am getting accustomed to telling myself these things. Growing into this.... this need to be a little rebellious at times, but not to hurt me. Nothing to cause me harm, and If I find that there is something I need to correct, do the best I can, where I am.

I am preparing my resume this week and looking for a better job. Correction, I am looking into starting my career. My career. It takes on a whole different feeling when you put it that way.

Stepping out firmly on faith ya'll. It is time I remind myself that I can do so, heck, the bumble bee do, and Lord knows that those paper thin wings do not look like they should hold up that body in the air.. but it does so anyway.

Writing in this journal may become a bit intermittent, but it is ok. I write for me. I write for me.

Excellence in the New Year

I am not going to make this long. 2006 was a good year to me. I have grown, changed and .... became more aware of myself and others.

I am writing to remind everyone to be excellent this year. Excellent means being ok with where you are. If you need to learn something new - do the best you can where you are and incorporate what you learn when the next opportunity arises. In all cases, be excellent. If you are tired when you come home from work and you do not want to exercise or cook then do what is best for you - cook a meal or two on the weekend (bake a chicken, make a soup, cook a veggie or two) and eat that, stretch and do 20 minutes in the morning; walk up and down a flight of steps twice a day!! Be excellent where you are. If you do not feel like doing your hair, get a weave, rap it down, smooth it into a bun. Be excellent where you are. Not perfect, just excellent where you are! If you catch yourself practicing a habit that you know is to your detriment. Give yourself a hug and a reminder that you do not need to do that anymore to keep you safe, to make you feel confident, to make you .... better, then do excellent for yourself and get to doing what you need to do!! Make your life excellent this year. Allow yourself the right to smile, cry, hurt, love, hold, uplift ... be human. Allow these things. And while you are learning and gaining etc., remember that you are doing the best that you can right where you are, and this experience will allow you to become better, more beautiful, more excellent than you already were. Remember to pray to God, to honor yourself and others and to respect everyone yourself included. Be excellent and kind to yourself this year. Be excellent where you are.

I am greatful for life, and choice, love and hope, God and family and friends. I am greatful for breath and skin, lungs and toes, a mouth and a heart. I am greatful for the life I live, the hope I see, the serenity that embraces me and my life. I am greatful. I am greatful for the job that I have the one that is forthcoming, the men that I have met and the husband that is coming forth. I am greatful for the new standards that I am getting for my life. I am greatful for understanding that I am enough and worth loving, respecting etc. just as I am. I am so very greatful for my home, my car, my things. I am greatful for you dear reader, and the ability to share who I am. I am so very greatful for the blessings that permeate my life. 2006 was a challenge, as each and every year is. I am greatful I was blessed to be a part of it and to step into 2007 with family, friends, hopes, dreams and as always, God with me.

Kita