Getting Free - Lesson 1
Now. Today the lesson is about getting really free. Free I said. Listen up.
Get rid of dream killas. Them mothersuckers come in all colors and the amount of time that you have known them etc does not matter.
I have a friend who I am beginning to recongize as having dream killa tendencies. As such she will either straighten up and fly right or fly on. Or I will fly own. I do mean that.
Why would I leave a friend alone that I have known for 8+ years? Her recent comments. See I am overweight, I got some butt, hips, stomach etc to lose. True. I let myself go trying desperately to make sure that no one could see or hurt me. To all of you who find out that your friend has had serious abuses in their life, encourage them to talk about it, face it so that they can move forward. I recently did that, and I am glad to say that I am doing what I need to do now. Taking a 30 minute walk 5 times a week and I am also going to the gym in two weeks. It is my life, and I plan for my body to be as fantabulous as my personality and soul. Back to the story though, when I told my friend that I am tired of being the fat girl in the group she chuckled, which did not bug me, it was her comment of, "so you feeling like Countess Vaughn huh?" Umm. No. I am feeling like me. Countess Vaughn had/has envy issues. Me, umm I want to get healthy and not have to go to Lane Bryant for clothes.
She also has a relationship with God that I do not. Now, let me get it straight, I love God, but in my childhood home getting to know him for yourself and on a personal level was pushed, not getting up and going to church. I did not do that, nor did my family, but we had discussions about God, prayed at every meal, watched archaeology specials about Israel and Jesus etc. and his times. We read, learned as much as we could about the Jews and how they worshipped believed etc. and I was taught that my relationship with God could not discount the Jewish faith due to the close connection that Christians had with them. Like I said, different, but mine and just as genunie and beautiful as everything else. My aunts often came by and we went to church with them, but that did not take away from my personal relationship with God and frankly I value that over church. Period. Like it or not. Deal. Her relationship with God is based in the church. Again, not taking away from how she believes, and not trying to pretend that I know about her personal relationship with God either. It is hers and I respect that. However, I am noting that when respecting my relationship with God comes up, she has an issue. I joined a church where she is a member. I never said that I would blindly follow anything or during the times when I felt the need to walk with God myself I would not do so. She is not a fan of do you, live, learn, improve and grow. But that is what I am doing. I will not apologize either.
I recently decided to become a bit free from her. I have to keep my eyes on my own paper. It is hard, you have to leave people, not allow them to hold you back.
Yesterday I told her that I was pushing for a new job title and additional mula at my job. My job title is wrong. I do things that are not considered as a specialized skill in this office, but in the field I am in at large it is considered more and more a specialized skill and service. When I told her I was prepared to leave if we could not come to a raise agreement I got a speech about how I am blessed, which I agree with. I was told that I should not get wrapped up in material things etc. I listened with my mouth open. Ya'll I am a single woman with a car and home. Really, I need a new car. I want to move from my townhome into a place closer to downtown. I do not think that my saying that I was willing to leave my job so that I can do what I need to, to live the life I wanted deserved a speech like this. However, now that I understand that she is want to do this, I can't confide in her. Yeah, I am willing to leave my job and get another. Yeah, I like the folks I work with and appreciate the flexibility and no I am not materialistic. I drive a 1997 Geo Prizm and it is not on its last leg, but I don't want to be in it when it gets there either. My saying this because I note that when I am not in more and more I get the phone calls does not make me a bad person. It does however make me aware of how important what I do is to the place I work, even if the funds I earn do not represent that. I plan to fix that, and I am. Oh yeah, did I mention that she has a husband at home, has never really lived on her own and pro'lly don't get what I am saying? I got a roommate ya'll a good friend I have known for years, she is helping me out as I get myself together financially. She is making enough to get her own home, land and start a business if she wanted to do so. She is helping me out, not staying with me for life. Just thought that you needed to know that too.
I love her, but I notice anytime the discussion is about me and my needs or plans to improve myself I am given the do not ask for too much speech, you should be ok with what you got speech or a joke/comment that is not funny, or the I am gonna do more than what you are doing comments. She is very supportive when it comes to getting over past issues but sometimes it seems that if I am coming out hard for myself a personal come up then there is an issue. She gets space now. I do not think she knows that she is doing it. I really had not noticed until I stated concentrating on my life. It is gonna be hard, but I am going to do me. Adjust or move on. Without apoplogy. I will mourn the loss of a good friend, I will gather more.
It is all about moving me forward ya'll. Not trying to harm, maim or kill, but I will be taking care of me. Even if it means I gotta move some folks out of my life or out of my way.
Kita
Get rid of dream killas. Them mothersuckers come in all colors and the amount of time that you have known them etc does not matter.
I have a friend who I am beginning to recongize as having dream killa tendencies. As such she will either straighten up and fly right or fly on. Or I will fly own. I do mean that.
Why would I leave a friend alone that I have known for 8+ years? Her recent comments. See I am overweight, I got some butt, hips, stomach etc to lose. True. I let myself go trying desperately to make sure that no one could see or hurt me. To all of you who find out that your friend has had serious abuses in their life, encourage them to talk about it, face it so that they can move forward. I recently did that, and I am glad to say that I am doing what I need to do now. Taking a 30 minute walk 5 times a week and I am also going to the gym in two weeks. It is my life, and I plan for my body to be as fantabulous as my personality and soul. Back to the story though, when I told my friend that I am tired of being the fat girl in the group she chuckled, which did not bug me, it was her comment of, "so you feeling like Countess Vaughn huh?" Umm. No. I am feeling like me. Countess Vaughn had/has envy issues. Me, umm I want to get healthy and not have to go to Lane Bryant for clothes.
She also has a relationship with God that I do not. Now, let me get it straight, I love God, but in my childhood home getting to know him for yourself and on a personal level was pushed, not getting up and going to church. I did not do that, nor did my family, but we had discussions about God, prayed at every meal, watched archaeology specials about Israel and Jesus etc. and his times. We read, learned as much as we could about the Jews and how they worshipped believed etc. and I was taught that my relationship with God could not discount the Jewish faith due to the close connection that Christians had with them. Like I said, different, but mine and just as genunie and beautiful as everything else. My aunts often came by and we went to church with them, but that did not take away from my personal relationship with God and frankly I value that over church. Period. Like it or not. Deal. Her relationship with God is based in the church. Again, not taking away from how she believes, and not trying to pretend that I know about her personal relationship with God either. It is hers and I respect that. However, I am noting that when respecting my relationship with God comes up, she has an issue. I joined a church where she is a member. I never said that I would blindly follow anything or during the times when I felt the need to walk with God myself I would not do so. She is not a fan of do you, live, learn, improve and grow. But that is what I am doing. I will not apologize either.
I recently decided to become a bit free from her. I have to keep my eyes on my own paper. It is hard, you have to leave people, not allow them to hold you back.
Yesterday I told her that I was pushing for a new job title and additional mula at my job. My job title is wrong. I do things that are not considered as a specialized skill in this office, but in the field I am in at large it is considered more and more a specialized skill and service. When I told her I was prepared to leave if we could not come to a raise agreement I got a speech about how I am blessed, which I agree with. I was told that I should not get wrapped up in material things etc. I listened with my mouth open. Ya'll I am a single woman with a car and home. Really, I need a new car. I want to move from my townhome into a place closer to downtown. I do not think that my saying that I was willing to leave my job so that I can do what I need to, to live the life I wanted deserved a speech like this. However, now that I understand that she is want to do this, I can't confide in her. Yeah, I am willing to leave my job and get another. Yeah, I like the folks I work with and appreciate the flexibility and no I am not materialistic. I drive a 1997 Geo Prizm and it is not on its last leg, but I don't want to be in it when it gets there either. My saying this because I note that when I am not in more and more I get the phone calls does not make me a bad person. It does however make me aware of how important what I do is to the place I work, even if the funds I earn do not represent that. I plan to fix that, and I am. Oh yeah, did I mention that she has a husband at home, has never really lived on her own and pro'lly don't get what I am saying? I got a roommate ya'll a good friend I have known for years, she is helping me out as I get myself together financially. She is making enough to get her own home, land and start a business if she wanted to do so. She is helping me out, not staying with me for life. Just thought that you needed to know that too.
I love her, but I notice anytime the discussion is about me and my needs or plans to improve myself I am given the do not ask for too much speech, you should be ok with what you got speech or a joke/comment that is not funny, or the I am gonna do more than what you are doing comments. She is very supportive when it comes to getting over past issues but sometimes it seems that if I am coming out hard for myself a personal come up then there is an issue. She gets space now. I do not think she knows that she is doing it. I really had not noticed until I stated concentrating on my life. It is gonna be hard, but I am going to do me. Adjust or move on. Without apoplogy. I will mourn the loss of a good friend, I will gather more.
It is all about moving me forward ya'll. Not trying to harm, maim or kill, but I will be taking care of me. Even if it means I gotta move some folks out of my life or out of my way.
Kita
posted by Enigma | 9:39 AM
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