Realizing/leadership cont.

I just realized that I am a old school type of girl. I believe and try to do what God says not man. I do not walk behind pastors, my mama, daddy, bro, sis or cousins and certainly not you without looking for myself on issues etc. I don't mind cooking, I ain't fond of cleaning but me and dirt are not friends. I got a smart mouth. However, I am sweet, kind, tender etc. I am pretty nice. I do run with my instincts if they scream at me. I don't follow people easily and I am not impressed with what you got or your position or what you said. I research before I go along, or I need to hear all sides before I pick one. I like the whole picture, you can keep that specialization thing that you are doing, I want to know how do these pieces fit to make a whole. When I pick a side I usually shock folks because my laid back manner puts them in a false security mode that I am not going to stand my ground or fight -- that is until I do. Pretty confident, working on stuff but confindent that personal and life issues will be worked out for the best . I expect to be treated well, and iffin I do not get treated well, well you can move on. Or I can, I usually do the moving on. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and respect you and your gangsta unless you are wellllll....stupid. Then you are dismissed. Once I discover I need to move on I wish you well, pray that God blesses you over and abundantly and then you go in the once was but as of today, this present moment is of no consequence to me box. Moving forward ya'll. I. Gots. To. Go.

Now back to what I am realizing, or back to the lessons taught, unlearned and sometimes I was just to mired in crap to see or understand about this black male/female relationship stuff.
Leading and women. Now, I understand that the guys may be like, yeah , what in the heck ya'll suppose to be doing in this role. OK, I will explain. The pace. Yep I said it. She decides the pace. The mood, is she umm difficult? Is she peaceful to a fault, will she cuss you out about nonsense? Is she more willing to have a discussion, is she asking for mula all the time telling you what she needs 24/7 or is she interested in your life too and what your needs are. Yes. Now, another things, fellas I said needs.
If you need a woman who is affectionate, kind, slow to anger, quick to forgive, takes care of self, life, fam, you and expects you to take the leadership role in the relationship, why are you dating that gold digger? More importantly why are you attracted to drama queens, how about Ms. Bout It, how about Ms. I want a thug? Now keep what you say you need in mind when you go out there next time. Everybody wants a nice good looking person on their arm, however, when she looks good but got those serious, I want a man who is faking who he is thing and can buy me stuff groove going on, check her and then yourself (by the way, that woman wants a boy) . When she cusses you out about every thing, you breathing to hard, why are you getting up at 8 instead of 9am in the morning, she is a controlling --- *sigh* difficult woman. When she tries to get physical with you and not in the biblical or kidding around way, why are you with her? Huh? Ya'll have fallen for the hype. The hype is BS. Straight. On the video she is the bomb, in the board room, hair salon, etc she is the bomb, in the bedroom, kitchen, den she is the bomb. And she bombed your a**. She is not a boss she is a bi**h. Remember real leaders lead by example. Is she eclipsing your sun so that she can have all of your attention? She wants someone to take care of her. Everythang. Are you choking and you are just in a five mile radius of her? Who chose her again? Like I said that hype has gotta go.
The woman who lets the relationship move at a moderate pace, the one who will call you on occassion to see what is up and wants to do something out of your norm, the one who gets your jokes, and when you say something sexual after you tested earlier to see how far she will allow you to go and now her eyes are twinkling and she is teasing back, her. The one who offered to cook cause both of you were having money issues, offered to treat you, when you showed up in your older car she did not blink an eye because the inside was cleaned up and you opened the door, plus you working on your plan and she ain't tripping, her. She is working on her plan and can tell you about it and you can see what she is doing (going to the gym, returning to school, buying a house, volunteering her time etc.) that is moving her towards her goal, yeah her. The nice, everyday looking woman who smiles at you in the library, grocery store, govt' buildings, her. The one you can speak one day and be funny the next and not do so and she still smiles and keeps it moving with no drama no mess, her. That is the nice girl right there bruh. Note, if she does drama (excessive), if everybody is in her business that is a sign that she is a girl, not a woman. If the first thing she does is see what you will purchase for her (beyond paying for the date now!), she is looking for a daddy, the one who needs that excessive attention is looking for daddy too.

I am finish blogging for today. Life moves on and so do I. Umm, leave. Thanks.

Kita