Surer Now
When I was younger, I would often give into peer pressure. Someone could call me a name and I would cry, you could hit me and again , LOL, I would cry. I would not defend myself. I actually believed the garbage that people told me about myself. I was too dark skinned. I was not to bright, that other folks who had the teacher's favor was more intelligent that I was. I actually believed the crap. I did so for a long while. As a matter of fact is followed me into young adulthood. Friends, well so called friends would attack me about some issue in my life. I would probe myself and tear myself down trying to build myself into someone that everyone loved and liked.
Unfortunately, the pressure to be a peace maker was also on me. Can you say people pleasing to the nth degree? My folks and my sis well, heck all of us, had jerk issues, and were in large part a jerky family. If you were sensitive about anything at all we would, the word we would use is tease, but truth is it was an attack on you about that subj or situation. It just was not cool. We tried to play it off, but after a while, that crap just plain old hurt. In attempting to make ourselves tougher we cared less about what we said or did and caused more damage to each other. Not only the kids, sometimes my parents, my mom esp. would take part. As I grew up I told my fam about how I really felt about it. They quit it with me. I also learned how to handle folks like this and what works and what does not. I ain't never ran in the streets, but I can handle myself if I must. Being honest and straight with you, we can joke, but I am not rolling with that attacking stuff. Roll on. I can take constructive criticism about my behavior and reminders about having strong character but an attack against my person will bring either silence or the I don't give a f* about you out of me. Do not disrespect me. My fam and I are straight, and now we all give each other this kind of respect. I mean honestly, how can you expect the world to back up and respect your feelings and wishes and your own fam won't? Not having it. It will not go down in my life. In large part I ignore stupiditiy but ummm....... e'rybody got their breaking point.
What I learned to do when I deal with people who are in large part negative is to stay off of their path. On the real, I do not want you for a friend. Keep it moving. I mean, I am not aching for a fight, nor will I pretend that we are friends. I will treat you with respect and I expect the same from you. If you cannot or will not do that, please desist talking to me. Now, on the real I mean that. If you are one of those folks who can't deal with someone respectfully, even when you are joking around, if you are mean spirited hit it. Bye dumb bunny.
Now, this has created who you see/read before you. Truth is, either you can deal with my you will be all rite and I am gonna march on attitude, or you can't.
I am not one who aches for a fight, and when one comes I decide whether or not I will fight or walk on. I know that in these days and times of people feeling the need to constantly prove themselves, like Neo in the Matrix, I am an anomaly. I know that there are more folks with this attitude, however, I am dealing with a neighborhood full of older black folks who do not seem to get this attitude at all. I will speak to you, hey and bye. I will look out for your home and let you know what is going on in the 'hood if something looks a mess or if there is something pretty cool going on. I will not do any less than those things. If you feel like I should have a convo with you about my personal biz, we are neighbors, we are not friends. If I am comfortable with you yes, but if nonsense ensues and it is continuous I. GOTTA. GO. If you feel that I should bend over backwardz to straighten out silly drama you started, I am cool with you, BUT we are neighbors and NOT friends. Hey and bye is cool with me. I like it like that. All personal stuff has been put down and to the side. My life is simpler when it is like that.
I know that there are some amazed that this IS who and what I am and that I live my life like this REALLY and want me to behave like a fool, but no shawt, this is who I am. I choose the when, where why and how of the battle and the weapons, I really do not care what you choose to do. It is called walking with a smile, and in faith, praying and carrying a big stick boo-boo. If you cannot deal with that go on. I will do what I have to when I choose to. Other than that, go away. Some folks have a bad habit of thinking that folks who are quiet or can smile and keep walking are foolish or weak. Sad. My strength is in my humility and my vulnerability. It is in my God and when it is time to battle, sweetie, titanium is in my back and when I strike it will be with precision. I do not come to kill or maim, I come to obliterate if I must battle. You, well you come with loud sounds and cussing and showing your butt as baboons do. I stepped into the fray and your noise caught my attention giving away your position and I hit you with a poisoned dart. Not enoough to kill you, but enough to knock you out and help you to remember who YOU are in the scheme of things. My job is done. Stay out of my way and choose another for a victim. Game over. Thank God I know Him and have the parents that I have. Thank God I know myself. Thank God I have learned over the years how to forgive and how to move forward.
I am surer now than I was when I listened to the noise and nonsense of others. It is in my walk, talk, laugh and how I carry myself. You must move in your life like you are royalty in an enjoyable, strange and sometimes agressive land. I am anxious for nothing, and there is nothing I am worrying about. I keep it moving ya'll, keep it moving.
Silly so called grown folks in my 'hood. Grow up. And please note that I will continue to hold my head high. Remember folks: Keep it moving like you are royalty with an eye out for poisoned arrows and silly fools and you will not get your foot or butt stuck in the crap that belongs rightly beneath your feet. Not saying you are better than anyone, now don't get it twisted, just saying do not get caught in another persons load of BS. Feel me?
Smooches,
Kita
Unfortunately, the pressure to be a peace maker was also on me. Can you say people pleasing to the nth degree? My folks and my sis well, heck all of us, had jerk issues, and were in large part a jerky family. If you were sensitive about anything at all we would, the word we would use is tease, but truth is it was an attack on you about that subj or situation. It just was not cool. We tried to play it off, but after a while, that crap just plain old hurt. In attempting to make ourselves tougher we cared less about what we said or did and caused more damage to each other. Not only the kids, sometimes my parents, my mom esp. would take part. As I grew up I told my fam about how I really felt about it. They quit it with me. I also learned how to handle folks like this and what works and what does not. I ain't never ran in the streets, but I can handle myself if I must. Being honest and straight with you, we can joke, but I am not rolling with that attacking stuff. Roll on. I can take constructive criticism about my behavior and reminders about having strong character but an attack against my person will bring either silence or the I don't give a f* about you out of me. Do not disrespect me. My fam and I are straight, and now we all give each other this kind of respect. I mean honestly, how can you expect the world to back up and respect your feelings and wishes and your own fam won't? Not having it. It will not go down in my life. In large part I ignore stupiditiy but ummm....... e'rybody got their breaking point.
What I learned to do when I deal with people who are in large part negative is to stay off of their path. On the real, I do not want you for a friend. Keep it moving. I mean, I am not aching for a fight, nor will I pretend that we are friends. I will treat you with respect and I expect the same from you. If you cannot or will not do that, please desist talking to me. Now, on the real I mean that. If you are one of those folks who can't deal with someone respectfully, even when you are joking around, if you are mean spirited hit it. Bye dumb bunny.
Now, this has created who you see/read before you. Truth is, either you can deal with my you will be all rite and I am gonna march on attitude, or you can't.
I am not one who aches for a fight, and when one comes I decide whether or not I will fight or walk on. I know that in these days and times of people feeling the need to constantly prove themselves, like Neo in the Matrix, I am an anomaly. I know that there are more folks with this attitude, however, I am dealing with a neighborhood full of older black folks who do not seem to get this attitude at all. I will speak to you, hey and bye. I will look out for your home and let you know what is going on in the 'hood if something looks a mess or if there is something pretty cool going on. I will not do any less than those things. If you feel like I should have a convo with you about my personal biz, we are neighbors, we are not friends. If I am comfortable with you yes, but if nonsense ensues and it is continuous I. GOTTA. GO. If you feel that I should bend over backwardz to straighten out silly drama you started, I am cool with you, BUT we are neighbors and NOT friends. Hey and bye is cool with me. I like it like that. All personal stuff has been put down and to the side. My life is simpler when it is like that.
I know that there are some amazed that this IS who and what I am and that I live my life like this REALLY and want me to behave like a fool, but no shawt, this is who I am. I choose the when, where why and how of the battle and the weapons, I really do not care what you choose to do. It is called walking with a smile, and in faith, praying and carrying a big stick boo-boo. If you cannot deal with that go on. I will do what I have to when I choose to. Other than that, go away. Some folks have a bad habit of thinking that folks who are quiet or can smile and keep walking are foolish or weak. Sad. My strength is in my humility and my vulnerability. It is in my God and when it is time to battle, sweetie, titanium is in my back and when I strike it will be with precision. I do not come to kill or maim, I come to obliterate if I must battle. You, well you come with loud sounds and cussing and showing your butt as baboons do. I stepped into the fray and your noise caught my attention giving away your position and I hit you with a poisoned dart. Not enoough to kill you, but enough to knock you out and help you to remember who YOU are in the scheme of things. My job is done. Stay out of my way and choose another for a victim. Game over. Thank God I know Him and have the parents that I have. Thank God I know myself. Thank God I have learned over the years how to forgive and how to move forward.
I am surer now than I was when I listened to the noise and nonsense of others. It is in my walk, talk, laugh and how I carry myself. You must move in your life like you are royalty in an enjoyable, strange and sometimes agressive land. I am anxious for nothing, and there is nothing I am worrying about. I keep it moving ya'll, keep it moving.
Silly so called grown folks in my 'hood. Grow up. And please note that I will continue to hold my head high. Remember folks: Keep it moving like you are royalty with an eye out for poisoned arrows and silly fools and you will not get your foot or butt stuck in the crap that belongs rightly beneath your feet. Not saying you are better than anyone, now don't get it twisted, just saying do not get caught in another persons load of BS. Feel me?
Smooches,
Kita
posted by Enigma | 8:33 AM
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